That's how I roll.....

Yesterday I was called somethings that really made me look into my heart and think why would anyone say these things. After a longer discussion I was given a laundry list of things that because of Facebook and the perspective of how things are posted, they could be taken out of context; twisted in a way that it could look like what this person was saying was true. I know, since it's my life and I lived it the truth behind it. Now since I have always believed you should live your life as an open book, be honest and not a hypocrite I have posted most of my life online for my friends to be apart of. Yes some matters are personal and they stay that way but when I'm having a bad day, my kids are going crazy, we over spent, something broke, stress......those things come on Facebook, because I'm not the person to paint a picture of a perfect life because there isn't one. With that being said I feel that since I post most of my life I should explain my thoughts on things.  It is easy to fall into a negative pattern, choosing happiness isn't always easy and the path to doing what's right I honestly feel is never really easy. I also post about my little lovebugs, their love for each other, their laughter, their silly songs, the funny moments of dressup and dancing, power rangers and star wars. Our weekend family outings, the park, the homework...all of it. My children have given me hope in my life, more love than I ever could have imagined and till the day I take my last breathe I would die protecting them and I will always love and encourage them. Do they make me crazy some days, yes, do I lock myself in the bathroom and cry because the fighting and screaming and temper tantrums are overwhelming, yes, at least once a week. Do I have to give up partying every weekend, dates out with my husband, yeah that happens a lot, but in the end, everything....all of it, the good and the bad are worth it. I choose to be a Mom, it's the hardest job I will ever do but it is the most rewarding one. Why is it ok for someone to complain about their job outside of the house and how their co workers or boss drive me nuts but when a mom does it about her kids who are her job it's wrong and they are a bad mom because she is struggling that day?
Alexander has a heart of gold, a sweet spirit and is always repreventive when he makes mistakes, Annabella is a miracle girl in a long line of boys who has  one amazingly strong will, she has a sweet loving heart that shows in how she plays with her babies. Both of my children have amazing manners and they make Stephen and I laugh everyday. To be their mom.....is an honor and I am beyond blessed to have two happy children who know they are loved and share their love with me daily.

 With my fitness journey I've hit a road block, been stuck in it for a year, and since that is one of the only major things going on in my daily life aside from my kids and Stephen, I think about it a lot. I work hard for it, because I love food and the fear of losing control and gaining lots of weight is something I worry about daily, being overweight isn't a vanity issues for me, it's a health issue, lots of sickness in my family line and by being healthy I am knocking my risk down. Is it annoying when I work hard to improve something and I don't see the results, ummmm yes it is.  I have days where I wake up and look in the mirror and I'm like, "whoa I look great, I did it." and then there are days I wake up and all I see are the things I want more improved on. Everyone has good and bad days.....our kids have them, our partners have them, we have them....everyone handles those days differently. Some people feel that posting anything negative is not a good vibe and so they don't, they give you only the best highlights of their lives and that's great for them. I love seeing my friends living happy lives.  For me, I like to keep it real, because I love when I see others who do it too on Facebook. It helps me feel not alone and when it comes to the little ones having bad days, the first thought that comes to my mind is "Oh God why are they doing this, am I being a bad mom, is that why the fighting, hitting and biting are happening? What can I do to fix it?" It has never nor will it ever be a "I hate these kids" thought....its a cry for help when I post the negative moments.....when you're life is consumed by a job like motherhood you lose sight of who you are as a person and for me I take on a lot on a lot pressure because I have been given the amazing oppourinty of being a stay at home mom so I know my kids are molding by me.
In the end, you shouldn't judge anyone, you don't know the struggles, the bad money decisions, the selling of things, the things given up in place of others, why someone was given something, or even why someone chooses to post what they post. It is never our place to point fingers or judge anyone....we have all done it, myself included.
We should all treat each other the way we want to be treated and when you feel that you need something answered you should never let it sit and fester, that only makes it worse. Life throws you all kinds of curve balls, you can have a fantastic month and then a month from hell. Everyday is a blessing, life is short, be kind, love one another, support each other and by all means pray for one another.

We need to quit telling lies on Facebook......

http://www.kveller.com/blog/parenting/we-need-to-quit-telling-lies-on-facebook/

The above link is to a blog by Sarah Tuttle Singer

Everyday I see all the shining details of my friends life on FB. Their pinterest perfect, cookie cutter life. We have some private issues going on that Stephen and I are working hard to deal with, but it's a private family thing and not something that belongs on Facebook but the struggle is real and it is mentally exhausting to say the least. Anyway I came across this article a few months ago and it spoke to me so much. It gave me hope. Every day when I wake up I pray that I am a good mom, that I have the strengthen to make it through the day, that my kids go to bed knowing they are loved and supported. I screw up way more than I should but I take comfort when I see the few other moms that post the real everyday happenings....it helps me feel not alone is a very alone place. People say that one day I will miss these days.....last night as I rocked Bella in the early morning hours I smelled her hair and thanks God that I had her. I laid her back in bed and I walked into Xander's room, his snoring was sweet and I covered him up. I slowly walked down the stairs exhausted but fulfilled because they need me right now. Someone said a few weeks ago, these are the hardest years but they are the years they need you. I have been trying to push past all the hard everyday events and focus on the fact that right now, I am their world and I am lucky enough to be their mom and I am beyond blessed to be able to be here with them day in and day out. It is never easy, the worry, the fear, the anxiety.....I am shaping two peoples lives right now....it's a real panicked feeling....I could screw them up for life. But I try and remind myself, I love them, more than my own life and even when I make mistakes I am quick to say I'm sorry.  The point is I am not perfect, I complain, I screw up and I drop the ball more than I should in many aspects of my life. I have abandonment issues and I have a total fear of well being a failure. But in my heart....my heart.....I only want the best for them, the best for Stephen. In my many days of the same thing over and over again it is easy to forget that life no matter how hard it is....is beautiful. I was lucky enough to find Stephen at a young age and I will grow old with him....knowing that in his eyes I will always be perfect. My fears surround me daily. My mind will always worry but I pray, everyday I pray to be better than I was yesterday.