Happy Birthday....to me!

January 7, 2013 197.8lbs

Today I am no longer an infant, I am a one year old! You're sitting here thinking, has Staci lost her mind...isn't she 30?! What is she talking about....well a year ago today I started my fitness journey. On January 6th, I was drying my hair and realized the only thing I truly liked about my physically appearance was my hair, after all....it is pink. I looked at my daughter who was sitting in her bouncy seat and I thought I can't let her grow up with me as a role model. That was it, that was all it took, putting my children in the muse spot. Sure I could fail myself, I could hide behind people in photos, I could crop pictures, I could wear jeans and be miserable during the summer, I could hate myself every single day, but what I couldn't do....is fail my kids. I had the power within me to change and all I needed was a good focus point and I had found it. It was so simply really, honestly I can't believe it

January 7, 2013 197.8lbs

had never occurred to me before. When I lost 65lbs in 2008-2009 a year after my son was born I did it because I didn't want to be fat anymore, it wasn't a lifestyle change it was a diet to get rid of the weight, yeah I felt amazing when I got down to 145lbs, I was 210lbs when I started. But once I hit 145lbs (my goal was 130lbs btw) I stopped everything, went right back to the same old Staci who just shoved it in and didn't exercise. I gained about 30lbs back between 2009-2011. In February 2011 I found out I was pregnant with our second child and there I was after delivery at 215lbs. I had gotten myself right back to where I had been before and I hated myself so much for it. I couldn't bring myself to fully commit to losing the weight because in my mind I was going to work so hard to get it off and then just fail

December 23, 2013 (Yup in Florida) 146lbs

again. But on January 6, 2012 I had an epiphany and I am grateful for it every single day, because  I am a new person. I woke up on January 7th with a new attitude towards weight loss and what it really was all about and started my journey to a better me. Yeah I recently went totally nuts on Christmas vacation and I gained 10lbs from it but I have hit the refresh button and I am fully focused again. I think I may of needed that because I have been struggling since September with my weight loss....it's not about the number, I know that. I feel amazing and I am so very proud of how far I have come. I have reached the goal I set out to, be a role model for my children. These last pounds are for me....no one else. I will hit that goal of 135lbs which is now 18lbs away....but you know what I will get there in 2014. It's been a year of tears, sweat (lots and lots of sweat), disappointments, over powering joy, weeks of ease and weeks of struggles but in the end it has been one amazing year and honestly I am super excited to say that I won't ever have to make again because I will never go back to the obese Staci. Yeah she is still inside of me screaming...but she isn't screaming for

My family <3 December 2013(yup hot in FL)

food....she is screaming at me to never give up and fight each and every day, to push myself to be better than I was the day before. I know I will make mistakes and I know I will have weeks where I gain and weeks where I lose but as long as I stay in control and keep fighting I will never be a failure. If you are sitting here reading this thinking that you can't do it, I'm here to tell you, YES YOU CAN DO THIS. You can be the person you've always wanted to be. One of the biggest steps you will take is believing that you can do it, because you can. Coming from a food lover, emotional eater and a mother of two young children (giving them snacks is one of my biggest daily challenges) if I can do this, you can do this. Never ever give up, if you mess up, just keep going, keep your eye on the prize and you will reach that goal!!!! Smile, because no matter what that number on the scale says, you are beautiful....now get healthy!!!!

NEVER GIVE UP!

 PS! Take pictures....I didn't really start documenting my weight loss photo wise until I had already dropped 20lbs...I was so ashamed when I started (note the above start day photos with no face) that I didn't want to do it and I really wish I would have done more than just the two. Even if they are never seen by anyone but you, take photos....you see yourself every day you may not see all the changes that are happening. Having photos to compare really shows how much you've accomplished!

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